Friday, 11 October 2013

National Coming Out Day

today is national coming out day*, in fact the 25th anniversary.

i'm queer.

i've been queer since the day i was born.  i believe that i was queer even before i was born.  that whatever this combobulated mess of carbon and energy is that makes me, me ... is still a mystery to me, but i know one thing.  i'm queer.

i'm not really sure what queer even means.  i've been smeared as a queer plenty of times.  i play sports.  i love dresses and elegancy. cooking, fashion, and prancing, running, jumping, leaping, sailing, swimming, scubaing, gardening.  i love worms and soil.  i like being alive, sometimes.  i kinda figure if i have to be here, might as well make the most of it.  i hate categories.

i claim queer because it provides to the listener the confusion i feel when asked.

we all have a purpose.  in fact, we all have the same purpose, to love and be loved.

love conquers fear.  love is kind, pure, wonderful, peaceful, cooperative, humble, joyful, silly, warm.  we can project those feelings out from ourselves into the world.  we can look at what we need, and try to give it to someone.  we can turn our focus inward or outward it doesn't matter, if you look for love you can find it.  and if you look for fear, you can find that too.

love is the antidote to fear.  families are torn apart by something as beautiful as love.  it  makes reason stare!

i did a gender edit on the Mormon church's proclamation on the family.  when the mormon patriarchal culture is removed from the text, it teaches a much kinder philosophy:

ALL HUMAN BEINGS -- each oNE of us -- are created in the image of God. We are all, spirit children of heavenly parents, who love us.  We each have a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and future identity and purpose. 
IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, we, as spirit children knew and worshipped God and accepted a plan. This put us on a path to obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize our divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally. 
THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood. 
Parents have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.  Parents will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. 
THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage is an essential ordinance. Children are entitled to parents who love each other and are committed to loving them.  Parents must remember that the next generation is always closer to God than the previous generation, so your child is your King or Queen in the making. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, parents are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Parents must remember that their primary responsibility is the nurturing of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, parents are obligated to help one another as equal partners. 
WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets. 
WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

ahh, much better ;) 

this video is of a mormon family with a teenage son who is gay and out.  the mother explains a bit of how having a gay son changed how she saw the world and the gospel.

this is a guide for family and friends of LDS LGBTQ folks -- you can get it for free by providing your email address. you may then be asked to participate in the follow-up/evaluation research.  or you can go to this site and order it for $10. 

may we please please please stop fighting and have a loving, solutions focused conversation?  can we lay down our weapons of war, bury our hatchets, and humble our pride to ask for the forgiveness we each need?

imagine if each person who read this blog called someone that they owed an apology, and paid up.  it would be contagious.  we could start a pandemic of forgiveness.  it would probably counter our pandemics of suicide, untreated mental illness, and violence.

imagine if we returned to those we judge and rejected and repented of one of the few crimes Jesus Himself explicitly commanded against?

can we listen to the pain we've caused with understanding rather than protection and projection?

let's have a real conversation about how to heal things.  it starts inside the family and works its way out.

U2 ~ "One" '92 (Directed by Anton Corbijn) by seasonwitch


Learn about Coming Out Day

Living Openly

However you identify, HRC and its Coming Out Project hope these guides help you meet the challenges and opportunities that living openly offers to each of us:

Are You a Straight Ally?

Check out A Straight Guide to LGBT Americans to learn about the emotional spectrum that people typically feel after someone comes out to them and find easy ways to learn more and demonstrate your support for LGBT Americans and equality.

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