i will properly wrap up the year of zen, because it deserves a proper wrap up. but ali is here, and i just didn't get to blogging yesterday to wrap it up in time. but just because last year didn't get its bow, doesn't mean i can't start this year yet. so . . . i am very happy to welcome you, my year of
i am learning a couple things about these themes . . . once chosen, you are committing yourself to a year of lessons in whatever that theme is. so in l'année de l'amusement i learned heaps about fun. it was super fun! the year of zen . . . simply put, i learned to find a center and to find peace in some crazy situations.
so this year i'm hoping to learn more about love. i took a class in college call "the psychology of love". it was super small: six students. we read a book called the art of loving. it was interesting. we discussed and wrote about all the forms of love phileo, agape, and eros. this year i hope to make a living practice of them.
each theme comes with its mantra . . . you may remember (as a refresher on how this all works) that in the year of awesome, when faced with a dilemma i asked myself, "what is the most awesome thing to do". this year, i'm going to ask myself how to feel and demonstrate love in all situations that come along.
this year, as part of my learning how to love better experience, i will do things like:
- reconnect with old friends
- be kind to all the people on the other side of "the counter" or cash register
- be honest and real in dating relationships -- most of them don't have much love in them, and i'm going to work at seeing each of these guys as people who are looking for the same connection i am.
- etc etc
ideally, i would be able to meet the man of my dreams or what have you. i know that all of my failed relationships have taught me a bunch about love. it is this interesting combo of loving self and other. i think only when i'm really being honest and present with myself am i able to be those things to a partner. in that way, love is a natural outcome or extension of zen.
that is true of all the forms of love. romantic love is only one kind of love, and though it would be great to have that back in my life again, there is plenty of love to be shared, even without that. plus in my ideal relationship, the love within that relationship is more than just romantic love too. finding or creating that love could then mean the creation of family and that would be nice too.
this might sound a bit crazy cat lady-ish, but the kittens have taught me a great deal about love. i think the main things for me was just opening myself up to them. even when i was just considering getting them, i could feel a change happening in my heart. i softened.
it is scary sometimes to love. if you aren't loving that person, job, bike, pet, etc; then loosing it isn't a big deal. once you start really loving and attaching to any noun (person, place or thing), then loosing it becomes really painful. i think the fear of loosing keeps me away from loving sometimes. so, i want to overcome that fear and be more open to love.
it should be fun. i feel like, i kinda already switched themes on the winter solstice, and just the bit of practice so far has been fun. i'm really looking forward to this.
most of you readers are people i love. i would really appreciate hearing from you. please, feel free to share your thoughts or feelings about this theme in the comments section. though love is possible in a vacuum, i think it feels best when it is reciprocated. i'd love to hear your thoughts on love.
i'm going to really reattach to blogging as a form of expanding my love. sharing love can happen in a million ways. reciprocation is just one way. but you can share love by telling the stories of loving too. so, this blog will be one of the places to share for me. i hope that you, yeah you that one reading these words right now, will share some of your experiences and thoughts here too.
though don't feel pressure to do it now. if you have had cool thoughts as you have read this, then yes please do share. also, feel free to come back to this space and share anytime, to any post. i would love to hear from you.
one last little tid bit on the exercise of love . . . i believe part of that, in fact a super essential part and maybe the only one you can ultimately control, is loving yourself. one of the things i will be doing soon to extend more love to myself is delete my facebook account. i just don't like it. there are too many people i don't feel like i really know on there and i'm weirded out about facebook's ability to figure me out and steal/share my info. so, next week i will be removing myself from it . . . please feel free to reach me via email though.
here we go . . . i'm opening myself up to love . . . universe, what do you got??