hot, biker, ho

i am not sure i have the commas in the right place, but that is what i was called today. now, that might be a compliment but i am sure it is not completely accurate. and if they knew anything about my personal life, i am sure they'd agree.

here's the story:
i was cycling home from one of the most intense days, from one of the most intense weeks, of work. i was wearing a dress, because i had to moderate a panel and wear grown-up clothes.

(a tip for the ladies -- if you are ever having low self-esteem, i have a fail proof pick me up. put on a dress that you like, but that is kinda stretchy. there is a difference between dresses and skirts, so make sure it is a dress. get on a bike. ride it around dc. men seriously don't know what to do with themselves. they are so distracted it is crazy. i think there is a direct positive correlation between the level of sportiness of the bike/femininity of the apparel and the amount of attention.)

so, i am passing these two twenty-something neighborhood dudes. one was "pumping" the other one on his bike. (pumping is what we called it in gilbert, where i grew up. if you gave someone a lift on your bike, you were "pumping" them. i don't know if there is a real verb for that action.) as i start to pass they cat call. and then ask me, loudly: "how do we get a hot biker ho like you?" i don't really respond, because . . . how do you? and i hear them begin a discussion about how they could get a "hot biker ho" like me.

sounds like someone needs to write a "how to" guide. DIY steps? something!

unfortunately, i don't have the answer to that one.


this is what google images comes up with when you search "hot biker ho"





SO NOT ME!

MOTORIZED???!!!!! sheesh people.